Dysfunctional Thoughts: 2018 02 08 – On Connecting with Others

Situation

When thinking to contact others for courtesy or I need to do some courtesy before getting into business, I hesitated and felt a drag, reluctance, vain, doing something worthless

Emotion – Pre

Worthless – 75%
Avoidance – 60%

Automatic Thoughts

  1. What does it use? I should do something more important – All or nothing
  2. I am bad at courtesy and chitchat – All or nothing
  3. I don’t want to leave fake impression or being a bother for others – Mind reading
  4. Here goes something that I’m not good at and a burden for me – Mental Filter and Discarding Positives
  5. I am afraid they will reject me and confrontate me – Personalization
  6. I am afraid I say something stupid like some in the past, react or said something unappropriately – Generalization

Rational Thoughts

  1. Communicating, courtesy and chit chat may or may not be important, but they lead to better appreciation with others, understanding and connection, all of those are quite beneficial either in function or socially.
  2. I do enjoy having nice conversation and being able to connect with others and recognized, it might not lead to something practically useful but so are most of my activities.
  3. Well I am not top notch at communicating, I have mediocre skill and I want to practice from books that I read, if I made mistake then I am no different than everybody in the world, not perfect, made mistakes and be better is the choice that I want to make
  4. People do have their own time, condition, and situations which might make them react negatively when contacted, they are beyond my control, I can only approach with good will and bring positive, upbeat attitude hopefully to cheer or in anyway to have positive influence on them and back off if the time is not right, it’s not always about me. If it is I’ll try to dissolve them.

Emotion – Post

  1. Worthless – 15%
  2. Avoidance – 15%

Cope

  1. Start with good intention, upbeat and positives vibe when contacting others – being mindful of others signals
  2. Think about closing routine when communicating, unique and represent upbeat & positive vibes – leave a good trail. (For later thoughts)
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