Dysfunctional Thoughts: 20180320 – On Expecting Others to Meet Higher Standard


  1. I expect one of my team to step up on higher position, to take responsibility and finish the job
  2. I keep pushing them but they’re unable and both of us feel frustrated

Emotion – Pre

  1. Frustrated – 70%

Automatic Thoughts

  1. Why can’t he/she just do that? (Generalization)
  2. It is not that hard, it is quite simple (Minimization)
  3. Can’t they just concentrate? (Mind Reading)
  4. They cannot work properly (Generalization
  5. They are useless (All or Nothing)
  6. I am also useless (Personalization)

Rational Thoughts

  1. People have aptitude on certain things, they are good at one thing and bad at others
  2. There need to be a minimum standard and clear manual to do the job (the result and how to)
  3. If they cannot meet the minimum standard after sometime and provided training then the options are
    1. Change the process / manual to become easier
    2. Lower the standard
    3. Change / Re-position the person to another role

Emotion – Post

  1. Frustrated – 10%


  1. Nothing personal
  2. Set goal and minimum standard
  3. Provide manual of how to or support to develop manual
    1. personal support
    2. team support (work together)
    3. external support (consultant)
  4. Evaluate the result on the goal and minimum standard
    1. change, reposition or optimize

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